Friday, January 18, 2013
Good Enough? (A Poem by Amanda Best)
This poem was written at a time when I was going through a very rough patch in my life. I thought I had found someone who I could trust, who would understand, but I found out I was completely wrong about this person. I was left to wonder if I would ever be able to trust anyone ever again, especially after what this person had done to my faith in the human race. Because those are my feelings at the time, I decided to let my anger at this person out, and I came up with this poem. I felt it truly expresses what I am feeling at the time and I'm sure we have all felt this way at some point in our lives. For those who have never felt this way, you are extremely lucky, and I pray that you will never feel this way. Many of the lines from this poem came from different parts of many different emails that I had exchanged with this person. They are words that this person wrote to me. I took their hatred and the pain they caused me and channeled into something beautiful and intense. Anyways, this is the poem that I came up with.
Good Enough?
--Amanda Best
I trusted you with my life,
I trusted you with my past,
I trusted you with my heart,
I trusted you with my secrets,
I trusted you to be honest,
I trusted you to be trustworthy,
I trusted you to be truthful,
I trusted you to be understanding,
You've told me many things,
You've told me many truths,
You've told me many lies,
You told me you wouldn't hurt me,
You told me you wouldn't lie,
You told me you were honest,
You told me you were trustworthy,
You told me you were truthful,
You told me you were understanding,
You said so many things to me,
You promised me you wouldn't lie,
But unfortunately you did,
You're inability to trust me,
Speaks volumes of who you are,
But most of all it says to me,
“I can't trust you with my past,”
“I can't love you the way you are,”
“I can't help you be who you need to be,”
“I can't help you be who you want to be,”
“I can't be what you need me to be,”
“I can't be what you want me to be,”
“I won't trust you with my past,”
“I won't love you the way you are,”
“I won't help you be who you need to be,”
“I won't help you be who you want to be,”
“I won't be what you need me to be,”
“I won't be what you want me to be,”
“I don't trust you with my past,”
“I don't love you the way you are,”
“I don't need to help you be who you need to be,”
“I don't need to help you be who you want to be,”
“I don't need to be what you need me to be,”
“I don't need to be what you want me to be,”
“I don't want to help you be who you need to be,”
“I don't want to help you be who you want to be,”
“I don't want to be what you need me to be,”
“I don't want to be what you want me to be,”
“You don't deserve to live,”
“You don't deserve to die,”
“You don't deserve to be happy,”
“You don't deserve to be sad,”
“You don't deserve to be loved,”
“You don't deserve to be hated,”
“You don't deserve me,”
“You don't deserve anyone,”
“You're too skinny,”
“You're too fat,”
“You're too tall,”
“You're too short,”
“You're too smart,”
“You're too stupid,”
“You're too lazy,”
“You're too active,”
“You're too outgoing,”
“You're too shy,”
“You're too aggressive,”
“You're too passive,”
“You're too angry,”
“You're too depressed,”
“You're too happy,”
“You're too sad,”
“You're too cautious,”
“You're too reckless,”
“You're too wild,”
“You're too calm,”
“You’re not what I want,”
“You’re not what I crave,”
“You’re not what I deserve,”
“You’re not what I need,”
“You're not worthy of my time,”
“You're not worthy of my love,”
“You're not worth the ground you stand on,”
“You're not worth the air you breathe,”
“You're not worth the effort,”
“You're not worth a single thing,”
“You're not worth anything at all,”
“You're nothing,”
“You're nothing to me,”
“You're nothing to anyone,”
“You're no one,”
“You're no one important,”
“You're no one insignificant,”
“You will never be good enough for me,”
“You will never be good enough for anyone,”
“YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH!”
Backstabber (A Poem by Amanda Best)
So this poem was written in response to the pain someone caused by getting me to trust them and then when I was least expecting it, when I had completely let my guard down, they stabbed me in the back, metaphorically speaking. It was then that I realized that I probably wasn't the first person that this person had done this to, and I definitely wasn't going to be the last. I realized that we've all met them, and sadly we've all trusted them. They are charming and charismatic. They get you to trust them by telling you lies about themselves. So you tell them all your secrets, all about your past, you tell them everything. They promise to never hurt you and you believe them. So when they end up stabbing you in the back, then act surprised when you refuse their help getting the knife out of you. You want it left there as a testament to the world about just who they really are! For all you backstabbers out there, this is for you...Enjoy!!!
Backstabber
--Amanda Best
You told me you loved me
I told you my secrets
And you told everyone
Now you're nothing to me
I'd have prefer for you
To stab me in the heart
Instead of in the back
People tried to tell me
That all you ever were
Was a good for nothing
Two timing backstabber
I refused to accept
That it could be the truth
Now I see I was wrong
They never lied to me
Now you can find your knife
Right here where you left it
Sticking out of my back!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Mismanagement of the Capitalist Class (A US History Essay by Amanda Best)
This is an essay that I was required to write in my US History class that I took during the Spring 2012 Semester. I had a hard time writing this essay because it took me a while to formulate exactly what I wanted to put into my essay before I wrote it all down. Sadly my computer decided that it wanted to be a stupid and before I had a chance to save my essay, it shutdown on me, and I had to type everything out again. When I started my essay over again, I put everything in it that I could remember from my very first essay, along with some of the things that had come to my mind as I was kicking myself for not saving my essay sooner. The paper that I turned in resulted in a grade of A+ so I couldn't have been happier, and I realized that I had probably turned in an essay that was ten times better than the essay that I had written the first time around. This post is that essay and I hope that you can understand everything.
ENJOY!
Amanda
Amanda Best
02/21/12
History 18
Nobile
Essay #1
In Jack London’s The Iron Heel, Ernest Everhard made the claim that,
"The capitalist class has mismanaged. In face of the facts that modern man lives more wretchedly than the cave-man, and that his producing power is a thousand times greater than that of the cave-man, no other conclusion is possible that that the capitalist class has mismanaged, that you have mismanaged, my masters, that you have criminally and selfishly mismanaged." (London 86)
With all the technological advances of the last 150 to 200 years, it can be hard to comprehend why the “modern man lives more wretchedly than the cave-man” especially if “his producing power is a thousand times greater than that of the cave man.” At the present time we live in a society where we want everything, but are not willing to give anything in return for the things we want. We live in the “me” generation.
With the invention of the iron plow and the mechanical reaper, “farms were becoming mechanized. Iron plows cut plowing time in half; by the 1850s John Deere Company was turning out ten thousand plows a year. Cyrus McCormick was making a thousand mechanical reapers a year in his factory in Chicago. A man with a sickle could cut half an acre of wheat in a day; with a reaper he could cut ten acres” (Zinn 36). Because of this, less time was needed to plow or harvest a field of wheat. Although this may seem like a good thing, it is essentially part of what led to the downfall of American society. Another claim Ernest Everhard made in The Iron Heel, was that
"Five men...can produce bread for a thousand. One man can produce cotton cloth for two hundred and fifty people, woollens for three hundred, and boots and shoes for a thousand. One would conclude from this that under a capable management of society modern civilized man would be a great deal better off than the cave-man." (London 85)
But is the modern man better off than the cave-man when the modern man has to deal with a much more complex and complicated system when it comes to work, marriage and family. For work there are many more opportunities to succeed, and also as many to fail. Whereas the cavemen only hunted and foraged, modern men must decide on a career, and then get extra schooling for the majority of it, plus on the job training, Cavemen learned from their fathers and from experience. Modern men have a complicated dance to woo a female. The female now has more opportunities and no longer needs to be with a man to succeed in life, therefore the modern man must increase his earnings, looks, and property to entice the female. After marriage there are more difficulties for the modern man as he must provide for his family, and be there emotionally as well, something the cavemen left the to the mothers. For family, the father must be more involved with children of both genders, as the cavemen mostly dealt with children of their own gender, as they trained them to be able to do what the parents do. The modern man must also find shelter for his family, and pay rent, and utilities, and other consequential items necessary for a home. Cavemen have much cheaper rent, as in no rent.
With all the things that that modern man must do to be considered a productive member of society, it is any wonder why there is so much discontentment in American society. If a cave-man went out hunting and didn’t come back with any food, his family would not go hungry because there would always be the food gathered from the plant life surrounding his place of dwelling. If a modern man lost his job and was unable to provide for his family, he is considered to be a failure. When The Iron Heel was published in 1908, Ernest Everhard said that:
"In the United States to-day there are fifteen million people living in poverty; and by poverty is meant that condition in life in which, through lack of food and adequate shelter, the mere standard of working efficiency cannot be maintained. In the United States to-day, in spite of all your so-called labor legislation, there are three millions of child laborers." (London 85)
Howard Zinn wrote that:
"The crisis of 1837 led to rallies and meetings in many cities. The banks had suspended specie payments—refusing to pay hard money for the bank notes they had issued. Working people, already hard-pressed to buy food, found that prices of flour, pork, [and] coal became impossibly high. In Philadelphia, twenty thousand people assembled…In New York, members of the Equal Rights party…announced a meeting: “Bread, Meat, Rent, and Fuel! Their prices must come down." (Zinn 40)
If there is one main example of capitalist mismanagement giving rise to the claim “that modern man lives more wretchedly than the cave-man, and that his producing power is a thousand times greater than that of the cave-man” it can been seen in the following example:
"In the thirty years leading up to the Civil War, the law was increasingly interpreted in the courts to suit the capitalist development of the country. Mill owners were given legal right to destroy other people’s property by flood to carry on their business. The law of “eminent domain” was used to take farmers’ land and give it to canal companies or railroad companies as subsidies.
It was a time when the law did not even pretend to protect working people—as it would in the next century. Health and safety laws were either nonexistent or unenforced. In Lawrence, Massachusetts, in 1860, on a winter day, the Pemberton Mill collapsed, with nine hundred workers inside, mostly women. Eighty-eight died, and although there was evidence that the structure had never been adequate to support the heavy machinery inside, and that this was known by the construction engineer, a jury found “no evidence of criminal intent.” (Zinn 49)
These are just a few of the examples that support the claim made by Ernest Everhard in Jack London’s, The Iron Heel, “that the capitalist class has mismanaged…[both] criminally and selfishly mismanaged” itself. Having no concern for the safety of the workers in their factories, mills, mines, and other places where working conditions were extremely dangerous, the capitalist class can only be considered as extremely mismanaged.
Morton Horwitz (The Transformation of American Law) sums [it] up [best with] what happened in the courts of law by the time of the Civil War:
"By the middle of the nineteenth century the legal system had been reshaped to the advantage of men of commerce and industry at the expense of farmers, workers, consumers, and other less powerful groups within soctiey…[I]t actively promoted a legal redistribution of wealth against the weakest groups in the society.
In premodern times, the maldistribution of wealth was accomplished by simple force. In modern times, exploitation is disguised—it is accomplished by law, which has the look of neutrality and fairness." (Zinn 49)
When Ernest Everhard, in Jack London’s The Iron Heel, said “that the capitalist class has mismanaged…[both] criminally and selfishly mismanaged” itself, he wasn’t lying.
Works Cited
London, Jack. The Iron Heel. New York: Macmillan, 1908. 85 – 86. Print.
Zinn, Howard. "The Other Civil War." A People's History of the United States. Abridged Teaching Edition ed. Vol. 2. New York City: New York, 2003. 36+. Print.
ENJOY!
Amanda
Amanda Best
02/21/12
History 18
Nobile
Essay #1
In Jack London’s The Iron Heel, Ernest Everhard made the claim that,
"The capitalist class has mismanaged. In face of the facts that modern man lives more wretchedly than the cave-man, and that his producing power is a thousand times greater than that of the cave-man, no other conclusion is possible that that the capitalist class has mismanaged, that you have mismanaged, my masters, that you have criminally and selfishly mismanaged." (London 86)
With all the technological advances of the last 150 to 200 years, it can be hard to comprehend why the “modern man lives more wretchedly than the cave-man” especially if “his producing power is a thousand times greater than that of the cave man.” At the present time we live in a society where we want everything, but are not willing to give anything in return for the things we want. We live in the “me” generation.
With the invention of the iron plow and the mechanical reaper, “farms were becoming mechanized. Iron plows cut plowing time in half; by the 1850s John Deere Company was turning out ten thousand plows a year. Cyrus McCormick was making a thousand mechanical reapers a year in his factory in Chicago. A man with a sickle could cut half an acre of wheat in a day; with a reaper he could cut ten acres” (Zinn 36). Because of this, less time was needed to plow or harvest a field of wheat. Although this may seem like a good thing, it is essentially part of what led to the downfall of American society. Another claim Ernest Everhard made in The Iron Heel, was that
"Five men...can produce bread for a thousand. One man can produce cotton cloth for two hundred and fifty people, woollens for three hundred, and boots and shoes for a thousand. One would conclude from this that under a capable management of society modern civilized man would be a great deal better off than the cave-man." (London 85)
But is the modern man better off than the cave-man when the modern man has to deal with a much more complex and complicated system when it comes to work, marriage and family. For work there are many more opportunities to succeed, and also as many to fail. Whereas the cavemen only hunted and foraged, modern men must decide on a career, and then get extra schooling for the majority of it, plus on the job training, Cavemen learned from their fathers and from experience. Modern men have a complicated dance to woo a female. The female now has more opportunities and no longer needs to be with a man to succeed in life, therefore the modern man must increase his earnings, looks, and property to entice the female. After marriage there are more difficulties for the modern man as he must provide for his family, and be there emotionally as well, something the cavemen left the to the mothers. For family, the father must be more involved with children of both genders, as the cavemen mostly dealt with children of their own gender, as they trained them to be able to do what the parents do. The modern man must also find shelter for his family, and pay rent, and utilities, and other consequential items necessary for a home. Cavemen have much cheaper rent, as in no rent.
With all the things that that modern man must do to be considered a productive member of society, it is any wonder why there is so much discontentment in American society. If a cave-man went out hunting and didn’t come back with any food, his family would not go hungry because there would always be the food gathered from the plant life surrounding his place of dwelling. If a modern man lost his job and was unable to provide for his family, he is considered to be a failure. When The Iron Heel was published in 1908, Ernest Everhard said that:
"In the United States to-day there are fifteen million people living in poverty; and by poverty is meant that condition in life in which, through lack of food and adequate shelter, the mere standard of working efficiency cannot be maintained. In the United States to-day, in spite of all your so-called labor legislation, there are three millions of child laborers." (London 85)
Howard Zinn wrote that:
"The crisis of 1837 led to rallies and meetings in many cities. The banks had suspended specie payments—refusing to pay hard money for the bank notes they had issued. Working people, already hard-pressed to buy food, found that prices of flour, pork, [and] coal became impossibly high. In Philadelphia, twenty thousand people assembled…In New York, members of the Equal Rights party…announced a meeting: “Bread, Meat, Rent, and Fuel! Their prices must come down." (Zinn 40)
If there is one main example of capitalist mismanagement giving rise to the claim “that modern man lives more wretchedly than the cave-man, and that his producing power is a thousand times greater than that of the cave-man” it can been seen in the following example:
"In the thirty years leading up to the Civil War, the law was increasingly interpreted in the courts to suit the capitalist development of the country. Mill owners were given legal right to destroy other people’s property by flood to carry on their business. The law of “eminent domain” was used to take farmers’ land and give it to canal companies or railroad companies as subsidies.
It was a time when the law did not even pretend to protect working people—as it would in the next century. Health and safety laws were either nonexistent or unenforced. In Lawrence, Massachusetts, in 1860, on a winter day, the Pemberton Mill collapsed, with nine hundred workers inside, mostly women. Eighty-eight died, and although there was evidence that the structure had never been adequate to support the heavy machinery inside, and that this was known by the construction engineer, a jury found “no evidence of criminal intent.” (Zinn 49)
These are just a few of the examples that support the claim made by Ernest Everhard in Jack London’s, The Iron Heel, “that the capitalist class has mismanaged…[both] criminally and selfishly mismanaged” itself. Having no concern for the safety of the workers in their factories, mills, mines, and other places where working conditions were extremely dangerous, the capitalist class can only be considered as extremely mismanaged.
Morton Horwitz (The Transformation of American Law) sums [it] up [best with] what happened in the courts of law by the time of the Civil War:
"By the middle of the nineteenth century the legal system had been reshaped to the advantage of men of commerce and industry at the expense of farmers, workers, consumers, and other less powerful groups within soctiey…[I]t actively promoted a legal redistribution of wealth against the weakest groups in the society.
In premodern times, the maldistribution of wealth was accomplished by simple force. In modern times, exploitation is disguised—it is accomplished by law, which has the look of neutrality and fairness." (Zinn 49)
When Ernest Everhard, in Jack London’s The Iron Heel, said “that the capitalist class has mismanaged…[both] criminally and selfishly mismanaged” itself, he wasn’t lying.
Works Cited
London, Jack. The Iron Heel. New York: Macmillan, 1908. 85 – 86. Print.
Zinn, Howard. "The Other Civil War." A People's History of the United States. Abridged Teaching Edition ed. Vol. 2. New York City: New York, 2003. 36+. Print.
Special Place In Hell (A Poem by Amanda Best)
In a previous post I mentioned that I had written my poem, Means To An
End, at a time on my life when I had been hurt and so the poem came
across as having a dark theme to it. As you can tell from the title of
this poem, it also has a dark theme to it, but in my opinion, it has a
much darker theme to it than Means To An End. The reason for this is
that as new information came to light about the situation, my anger grew
as I was hurt over and over again. Since I had seen that writing about
how I felt, how I was hurt, why it hurt so much, and why I was so angry
had helped me cope with this betrayal of trust that I had placed in this
person, I turned to writing again. These next few posts will contain
poems that I wrote during that time as I used them as a way of coping
with the pain and hurt that I felt from this betrayal. These poems will
be dark in nature, but in no way do the mean anything other than how
painful it was to deal with being completely blindsided by this person's
betrayal of my trust.
Special Place In Hell
--Amanda Best
There's a special place in hell
For a backstabber like you
A place where liars scream
From the pain they caused
Where salvation cannot reach
And love cannot heal
Where betrayal thrives
And reaps its reward
Feeding off your soul
Devouring your mind
Ignited by your hatred
Fueled by your laughter
Fanned by your sarcasm
Fed by your voice
The flames engulf you
Melt your plastic flesh
Finding your dead heart
They bring it to life
Restore its beat
Only so you feel
The flames consume
The hopes you stole
The lives you ruined
As you slowly die
You see their faces
And watch them laugh
Knowing they spoke truth
Once a devil worshiper
Then the devil's child
Now the devil himself
You see their peace
You see their hope
You see their lives
Healed and restored
As you scream in pain
From the flames
That consume you
You know salvation
No longer exists
For your twisted
Sadistic
Demented
Evil self
Your soul is dead
You live in hell
Trapped in hell
In that special place
Prepared just for you
For a backstabber like you
Your own special place in hell
Special Place In Hell
--Amanda Best
There's a special place in hell
For a backstabber like you
A place where liars scream
From the pain they caused
Where salvation cannot reach
And love cannot heal
Where betrayal thrives
And reaps its reward
Feeding off your soul
Devouring your mind
Ignited by your hatred
Fueled by your laughter
Fanned by your sarcasm
Fed by your voice
The flames engulf you
Melt your plastic flesh
Finding your dead heart
They bring it to life
Restore its beat
Only so you feel
The flames consume
The hopes you stole
The lives you ruined
As you slowly die
You see their faces
And watch them laugh
Knowing they spoke truth
Once a devil worshiper
Then the devil's child
Now the devil himself
You see their peace
You see their hope
You see their lives
Healed and restored
As you scream in pain
From the flames
That consume you
You know salvation
No longer exists
For your twisted
Sadistic
Demented
Evil self
Your soul is dead
You live in hell
Trapped in hell
In that special place
Prepared just for you
For a backstabber like you
Your own special place in hell
Friday, January 11, 2013
Means To An End (A Poem by Amanda Best)
This was a poem that I wrote when I realized that I had made a mistake when I had trusted someone who ended up being a completely different person than I had originally thought they were, and a completely different person than who they had led me to believe they were. This poem speaks of finding out the truth, of realizing that you were just the Mean To An End for someone, and with that realization, finding a way to make that person the Means To An End in a way far more damaging than you were to them. I will state right now that I never did anything like what this poem speaks of to any person, but I took the pain and anger this person caused me from what they did and channeled it into becoming a better writer by using that pain and anger to express my disappointment in how they treated not just me, and not just how they treated themselves, but how they treated all of the people that we love and all the people who love us by causing that anger and pain in a single person, by making every single one of those people a Means To An End.
Means To An End
--Amanda Best
I finally
See you
For who
You really truly are
I have
Put up
With you
For far too long
I no
Longer care
For you
Or your company
To me
You are
Just the
Means to an end
But now
Your end
Does not
Justify the means
I know
This must
Hurt you
To the core
But you
Left me
In pieces
And brokenhearted
I warned
You from
The start
What would happen
Should you
Decide to
Treat and
Use me like you did
Now you
Know what
It’s like
To be used like that
To love
Then tossed
Aside like
You never even mattered
I have
Just one
Question now,
“How does it feel to be on the other end?”
I'M NOT CRAZY! (A Poem by Amanda Best)
This is another poem that I wrote a long time ago (and by a long time ago I mean it was written January 25th, 2006) in response to someone who thought it would be funny to call me crazy. This has nothing to to with the events of last month as this poem was written almost six years ago. I have a passion for speaking my mind, and sometimes that can get me into a lot of trouble. Thankfully, this was not one of those times, and I used poetry as an outlet for how angry I was at this person. Anyways here it is...
ENJOY!
Amanda
I'm Not Crazy
--Amanda Best
One second of one day,
You called me crazy.
It was felt like,
A slap in the face.
You turned and stalked away,
I stormed after you,
Hell bent with rage in my eyes.
Time and again I've let you
Walk all over me.
Never again will
I let that happen.
With rage building
I can't control myself.
I shout,
I yell,
I scream,
I rant,
I rave,
I say,
I'M NOT CRAZY.
Sacrament Meeting Talk from Sunday, August 12th, 2012
Back in July, I was asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting on the 12th of August, and since I love writing and speaking in front of other people, this was an easy thing for me to do. With the exception of the talks that I gave in Primary as a child, I have always written my on my own without any help from my parents. This has to be one of my favorite talks that I have given so far in my life, but I'm pretty sure that there will be another talk that I give in the future that will top this one, but that has yet to happen, so for now...
ENJOY!
Amanda
Here is my talk...
I am truly grateful to have been given this opportunity to speak today. I haven’t given a talk in Sacrament Meeting since I was a youth speaker, which was over six years ago, and so I’m certainly excited to have been given this opportunity. As I’m sure all of you remember, I sang in Sacrament Meeting two weeks ago, and I can honestly tell you that was one of the most terrifying moments in my life, so I can understand how a lot of people get nervous about speaking in Sacrament Meeting and try to avoid making eye contact with Brother Bedwell in the hall. But for me personally, speaking in Sacrament Meeting is, in my opinion, one of the easiest things to do, and although I’m sure many of you would surely disagree with that opinion, it should be noted that you have strength of character when you get up to speak. I love having the opportunity to speak in Sacrament Meeting, and I can’t wait to be given the opportunity to speak again.
Brother Bedwell assigned me to speak to you on Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk “The Laborers in the Vineyard” from this last General Conference. Although I had started working on my talk the day it was given to me, it wasn't until last Saturday that I sat down at the computer, and started writing it all down. Anyways, I'm about 9/10 done with preparing my talk when I realize that I've been paraphrasing almost every other sentence from Elder Holland's talk. It was at that point that I felt strongly that I needed to switch gears and focus my talk to a reoccurring topic in Elder Holland’s talk, which was the Atonement. And so there I was with my talk almost complete and I realized that I was going to be starting over completely and I asked Heavenly Father why he would do that to me, and the only answer I got was, “JUST DO IT.” The Atonement can be a very difficult subject to speak on because I personally don’t feel like I will ever be able to grasp the full meaning of it until after this life is over. With that said, I can only hope that I will be able to do justice to Elder Holland’s talk since everyone knows that he gives the best conference talks.
Elder Holland begins his talk with paraphrasing the parable of “The Laborers in the Vineyard” found in Matthew 20:1-15. Elder Holland stated in his talk that “this parable—like all parables—is not really about laborers or wages any more than the others are about sheep and goats. This is a story about God’s goodness, His patience and forgiveness, and the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a story about generosity and compassion. It is a story about grace. It underscores the thought I heard many years ago that surely the thing God enjoys most about being God is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it.”
Forgiveness and mercy towards others are essential if we wish to also obtain forgiveness and mercy. In his conference address from last General Conference, “The Merciful Obtain Mercy,” President Uchtdorf stated that “we all depend on the Savior; none of us can be saved without Him. Christ’s Atonement is infinite and eternal. Forgiveness for our sins comes with conditions. We must repent, and we must be willing to forgive others.” Our Savior has taught that “blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”
We need to seek forgiveness from those whom we have hurt. We need to give forgiveness to those who have hurt us. It is important for all of us to realize that we all make mistakes, say and do things we know we shouldn't, and don't say or do things we know we should. One of the most important points though is this, if we are merciful towards others, if we can learn to forgive each other, none of it will ever matter in the end, but if we are not merciful towards others, if we refuse to forgive one another, everything will matter in the end. We cannot expect the Lord to forgive us if we don’t forgive others. The Lord stated the following in 3 Nephi 13:14-15, “For, if ye forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you; But if ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” To be able to partake of the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, it is necessary that we forgive others. The Lord reiterates his words from 3 Nephi when he states in D&C 64:9-10 that “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” If we want to be forgiven, if we want to be able to fully partake of His Atonement, we must forgive. The only perfect person to ever walk the earth was our Savior. It is essential that we understand this because we all need to realize that our parents, brothers, sisters, children, friends, and everyone else in the world will never be perfect in this life, and to expect perfection from someone, is extremely unhealthy and damaging to our relationships with others. It is even more unhealthy and damaging when we expect perfection from ourselves. As a footnote in his talk, President Uchtdorf added, “When the Lord requires that we forgive all men, that includes forgiving ourselves. Sometimes, of all the people in the world, the one who is the hardest to forgive—as well as perhaps the one who is most in need of our forgiveness—is the person looking back at us in the mirror.”
The one thing that stands out to me the most from Elder Holland’s talk is when he states, “I do not know who in this vast audience today may need to hear the message of forgiveness inherent in this parable, but however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.” The Atonement is there so that we can return to our Father in Heaven, but we can only do that if we actually use the Atonement.
Elder Holland concludes his talk by saying, “it is never too late so long as the Master of the vineyard says there is time.” Our Father in Heaven has blessed all of us by bringing truly amazing people into our lives to teach us something, to help us understand something we might be struggling with, to help us see things differently, and to help us feel of His love for each of us.
I have very recently been richly blessed by our Father in Heaven when He brought one such person into my life, who let his love of our Savior radiate from the way he treated everyone around him. It was through his example and his love of our Savior, that he was able to teach me that If we Keep the Faith and Look to Him. If we Feel of His Love and Find Strength in His Peace. If we Experience Joy in His Service and Gain Truth in His Words. If we Become One with Him through the Saving Power and Light of His Infinite Atonement, we will never find ourselves in a place where it cannot shine. It was through him that I began to understand the Atonement and look at it in a completely different manner, in a way I had never even considered before. It was through his example and his love of the Savior, that he was able to teach me that I am willing to give whatever our Father in Heaven asks of me, that I am willing to give up everything, even my life if necessary, to have the opportunity to serve a mission and teach others what he has taught me about what it means to become one with our Savior.
I want all of you to know that I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to this earth through His prophet Joseph Smith. I know that we live in the dispensation of the fullness of times. I know that our Father in Heaven lives and that He loves us all more than we will ever be able to comprehend. I know that we are all His children. I know that our Savior, Jesus Christ, lives and that he loves each of us so much. He is our Elder brother, and He came to earth where He would be hated, despised, betrayed, beaten, to suffer not only the sins of the world, but to feel our every emotion, from our sorrows, our anger, and our resentment, to our joyfulness, our excitement, and our happiness. He has felt all of our heartaches and burdens. HE Has Felt It All. He did this for us, so that No Matter How Alone We Might Feel at times, He would be Right There with us, having felt Everything We Feel, and all we would have to do is Look To HIM to find comfort and peace. He paid the price of our sins through His Infinite Atonement, and it is by HIS Stripes that We Are Healed. I know our Savior, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for us and arose three days later so that we might be able to do likewise. The Gospel is TRUE; of this I have NO DOUBT. I know our Father in Heaven knows each of us individually. He has given us our weaknesses so that we will turn to Him and He will give us strength. The Savior has borne our trials. We are truly blessed to be members of His Church. If we Keep the Faith and Look to Him. If we Feel of His Love and Find Strength in His Peace. If we Experience Joy in His Service and Gain Truth in His Words. If we Become One with Him through the Saving Power and Light of His Infinite Atonement, We Will Never find ourselves in a place Where It Cannot Shine. He is Standing At The Door, Knocking, and Waiting For US To Open It, and allow Him into our lives. It is my prayer that we not only allow Him into our lives, but that we apply the Atonement in our lives and it is with that final thought that I leave these things with you, in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
The LDS Missionary (Original Version)
As I stated in my last post, this post will contain the original version of my poem "The LDS Missionary" and I would love any feedback that my readers might have about this poem, I just ask that you also read the "Extended Edition" of this poem as well before making any comments.
ENJOY!
Amanda
The LDS Missionary (Original Version)
--Amanda Best
Once called to be a missionary;
Once called to serve the Lord.
Once called to a place unknown;
Once called to preach his word.
You went out with a brand new suit;
Scriptures, shirts, ties, and shoes.
Everything carefully labeled;
So no one forgot whose was whose.
And just like when you were in Seminary;
You arose early every day.
Then before you went to bed each night;
You knelt beside your bed to pray.
As the days turned into weeks;
You brought hope to those in need.
And showed care and concern;
With each and every single good deed.
On P-days you’d write home;
Asking for pictures and perhaps a letter;
But if someone possibly could;
A care package was even better.
As the weeks turned into months;
You continued to press on.
A valiant soldier in “God’s Army;”
Brave, faithful, true, and strong.
Soon without you realizing it;
One full year had come to pass.
And you heard what other had said;
That year number two goes by way too fast.
As time continued to go by;
You’d cherished each moment you had.
Filling each day with joy and service;
You’d shun all things evil and bad.
Before you even knew it;
Your final days drew near.
Not wanting to leave this place;
For a place that’s a world away from here.
Your last night you got no sleep;
All you did was toss and turn.
Giving up and staring at the ceiling;
Thinking about life when you return.
Once a boy of nineteen;
Now a man of twenty-one.
You’re sad that it’s all over;
You’re sad this day has come.
You’ve come to love the people;
And the local culture too.
You never thought that leaving;
Would be the hardest thing to do.
ENJOY!
Amanda
The LDS Missionary (Original Version)
--Amanda Best
Once called to be a missionary;
Once called to serve the Lord.
Once called to a place unknown;
Once called to preach his word.
You went out with a brand new suit;
Scriptures, shirts, ties, and shoes.
Everything carefully labeled;
So no one forgot whose was whose.
And just like when you were in Seminary;
You arose early every day.
Then before you went to bed each night;
You knelt beside your bed to pray.
As the days turned into weeks;
You brought hope to those in need.
And showed care and concern;
With each and every single good deed.
On P-days you’d write home;
Asking for pictures and perhaps a letter;
But if someone possibly could;
A care package was even better.
As the weeks turned into months;
You continued to press on.
A valiant soldier in “God’s Army;”
Brave, faithful, true, and strong.
Soon without you realizing it;
One full year had come to pass.
And you heard what other had said;
That year number two goes by way too fast.
As time continued to go by;
You’d cherished each moment you had.
Filling each day with joy and service;
You’d shun all things evil and bad.
Before you even knew it;
Your final days drew near.
Not wanting to leave this place;
For a place that’s a world away from here.
Your last night you got no sleep;
All you did was toss and turn.
Giving up and staring at the ceiling;
Thinking about life when you return.
Once a boy of nineteen;
Now a man of twenty-one.
You’re sad that it’s all over;
You’re sad this day has come.
You’ve come to love the people;
And the local culture too.
You never thought that leaving;
Would be the hardest thing to do.
The LDS Missionary (Extended Edition)
This is a poem that I wrote in the Spring of 2007 for an assignment in my Creative Writing Poetry class that I was taking. At the time, my older brother was serving his mission and was coming home that summer. For those of you who don't already know, my family is LDS or Mormon. When I first wrote this poem, I didn't really understand the whole concept of serving a mission, but I tried my best to capture the whole experience. It wasn't until this last summer when I was going through some of my old college English assignments that I had saved that I came across it again. The original version of this poem in my opinion lacked the ability to flow and to truly communicate what I wanted to say, but since it was an assignment, I didn't have as much time to work on it as I would have liked. When I came across it last summer, I read it, and decided that I needed to work on it. The reason that I worked on it and tweaked it as much as I did was because since the beginning of 2012, I have been attending that missionary preparation class and I have come to a better understanding of just how important missionary service truly is. I have posted what I have started to refer as the "Extended Edition" of the poem. In my next post, I will post the original version so that you can see where the poem began and where it is now. This poem is truly a work in progress since I am preparing to serve a mission myself which is the reason for my attending the missionary preparation class. At the time that I wrote this, I had been given the assignment in my Creative Writing Poetry class to write a ballad. A ballad for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term is basically a poem containing several stanzas of four lines each that is written with either the rhyme scheme of "a, b, a, b" or "a, b, c, b." Ballads often tell a story and can be written in iambic pentameter. Feel free to leave any thoughts or comments that you might have.
ENJOY!
Amanda
The LDS Missionary (Extended Edition)
--Amanda Best
For my brother, returned missionary, Robert M. Best, and for all the missionaries, who have in one way or another made me look at life and serving a mission with a whole new perspective.
You're called to be a missionary;
You're called to serve the Lord.
You're called to a place unknown;
You're called to preach His word.
Last Friday you finished your papers;
Then submitted them on Saturday.
Hoping your call would be waiting;
At home after church on Sunday.
Speeding home to check the mail;
You parked your car in the flower bed
But when the mailbox came up empty;
You just stood there scratching you head.
Twelve tortuous days of waiting later;
Your sister called to tell you that it came.
And when you opened your call;
You butchered your mission’s name.
Grabbing your family’s world atlas;
While turning fifty shades of red.
Embarrassed as you held your breath;
Hoping it wasn’t a place you’d dread.
Finding you mission on the map;
You suddenly felt relieved.
Southern Mexico;
How could you be so naïve?
Over the next few weeks;
You packed, stuffed, and crammed,
Your suitcases with so many items,
That the zippers kept getting jammed.
The night before you entered the MTC;
Your thoughts began to race.
Could you really do this;
Or would you fall flat on your face?
Pushing your doubt from your mind;
You said a humble, earnest prayer.
Asking that you receive the strength;
And the compassion to truly care.
Two months later you boarded a plane;
Not knowing what was to come.
Ten hours and three planes later;
Your legs were completely numb.
In the terminal stood five men;
In white shirts, ties, and black tags.
Greeting you with warmth and love;
They helped you carry all your bags.
You arrived with brand new scriptures;
Shirts, ties, shoes, and two tailored suits.
But tucked in the back of your closet;
You left your well-worn combat boots.
And just like when you were in Seminary;
You arose early every day.
Then before you went to bed each night;
You knelt beside your bed to pray.
As the days turned into weeks;
You brought hope to those in need.
And showed care and concern;
By helping others to succeed.
On P-days you’d write home;
Asking for pictures and perhaps a letter.
But packages with peanut butter;
Were a hundred million times better.
As the weeks turned into months;
You continued to press on.
A valiant soldier in “God’s Army;”
Brave, faithful, true, bold, forever strong.
Tending to the Savior's Vineyard;
Pruning, watering, and removing weeds.
As the watchman on the tower;
Protecting, nurturing faith's tiny seeds
Soon without you realizing it;
One full year had come to pass.
And you heard what all the others had said;
That year number two goes by way too fast.
As time continued to go by;
You cherished each memory you would gain.
Filling all your days with joy and service;
Even in the pouring rain.
Before you even knew it;
Your final days drew near.
Not wanting to leave this place;
For a place that’s a world away from here.
Your last night you got no sleep;
All you did was toss and turn.
Giving up and staring at the ceiling;
Wondering how you'll cope when you return.
You gave away everything you brought;
Except your scriptures, shirts, and suits.
And your dress shoes became;
A different kind of combat boots.
Once a naïve, selfish boy of nineteen;
Now a wise, unselfish man of twenty-one.
You’re sad that it’s all over;
You’re sad this day has come.
You’ve come to love the people;
And the local culture too.
You never thought that leaving;
Would be the hardest thing to do.
Your old friends and former life;
The things of this world seem obsolete.
To your testimony of the truth;
Now cemented in concrete.
Once called to be a missionary;
Once called to serve the Lord.
Once called to a place unknown;
Once called to preach His word.
ENJOY!
Amanda
The LDS Missionary (Extended Edition)
--Amanda Best
For my brother, returned missionary, Robert M. Best, and for all the missionaries, who have in one way or another made me look at life and serving a mission with a whole new perspective.
You're called to be a missionary;
You're called to serve the Lord.
You're called to a place unknown;
You're called to preach His word.
Last Friday you finished your papers;
Then submitted them on Saturday.
Hoping your call would be waiting;
At home after church on Sunday.
Speeding home to check the mail;
You parked your car in the flower bed
But when the mailbox came up empty;
You just stood there scratching you head.
Twelve tortuous days of waiting later;
Your sister called to tell you that it came.
And when you opened your call;
You butchered your mission’s name.
Grabbing your family’s world atlas;
While turning fifty shades of red.
Embarrassed as you held your breath;
Hoping it wasn’t a place you’d dread.
Finding you mission on the map;
You suddenly felt relieved.
Southern Mexico;
How could you be so naïve?
Over the next few weeks;
You packed, stuffed, and crammed,
Your suitcases with so many items,
That the zippers kept getting jammed.
The night before you entered the MTC;
Your thoughts began to race.
Could you really do this;
Or would you fall flat on your face?
Pushing your doubt from your mind;
You said a humble, earnest prayer.
Asking that you receive the strength;
And the compassion to truly care.
Two months later you boarded a plane;
Not knowing what was to come.
Ten hours and three planes later;
Your legs were completely numb.
In the terminal stood five men;
In white shirts, ties, and black tags.
Greeting you with warmth and love;
They helped you carry all your bags.
You arrived with brand new scriptures;
Shirts, ties, shoes, and two tailored suits.
But tucked in the back of your closet;
You left your well-worn combat boots.
And just like when you were in Seminary;
You arose early every day.
Then before you went to bed each night;
You knelt beside your bed to pray.
As the days turned into weeks;
You brought hope to those in need.
And showed care and concern;
By helping others to succeed.
On P-days you’d write home;
Asking for pictures and perhaps a letter.
But packages with peanut butter;
Were a hundred million times better.
As the weeks turned into months;
You continued to press on.
A valiant soldier in “God’s Army;”
Brave, faithful, true, bold, forever strong.
Tending to the Savior's Vineyard;
Pruning, watering, and removing weeds.
As the watchman on the tower;
Protecting, nurturing faith's tiny seeds
Soon without you realizing it;
One full year had come to pass.
And you heard what all the others had said;
That year number two goes by way too fast.
As time continued to go by;
You cherished each memory you would gain.
Filling all your days with joy and service;
Even in the pouring rain.
Before you even knew it;
Your final days drew near.
Not wanting to leave this place;
For a place that’s a world away from here.
Your last night you got no sleep;
All you did was toss and turn.
Giving up and staring at the ceiling;
Wondering how you'll cope when you return.
You gave away everything you brought;
Except your scriptures, shirts, and suits.
And your dress shoes became;
A different kind of combat boots.
Once a naïve, selfish boy of nineteen;
Now a wise, unselfish man of twenty-one.
You’re sad that it’s all over;
You’re sad this day has come.
You’ve come to love the people;
And the local culture too.
You never thought that leaving;
Would be the hardest thing to do.
Your old friends and former life;
The things of this world seem obsolete.
To your testimony of the truth;
Now cemented in concrete.
Once called to be a missionary;
Once called to serve the Lord.
Once called to a place unknown;
Once called to preach His word.
My Very First Blog Post EVER!
Although I love to write and have been writing poetry, essays, song lyrics, and short stories for years, I have never had a blog before, so this is very new for me. I decided that I wanted to create a blog where I would post my writings for others to enjoy instead of keeping everything to myself. The things I write about cover a very wide range of genres. My poetry ranges from lyrical ballads to gothic lamentations. My essays range from childhood memories to college English papers. My song lyrics range from "I love you" to "I can't believe I ever trusted you!" My short stories range from things that will make you cry to things that will make you laugh so hard you start crying. I don't like to limit myself to just one genre or one style of writing simply because it gets boring rather quickly. I also feel that if I were to limit myself to one specific genre or one specific style of writing, I would be limiting my opportunities to develop my talent of writing. It probably doesn't surprise anyone to find out that I love to read and write about the things that I read, but it might surprise them to find out that I find it hard to write a book report because I don't know where to begin or how to keep my report to a limit of one or two pages. Now that you know that I love to write and what I write about, here is why I write. My main reason for writing is that there is a mystery to the meaning of words. Rarely does a word or phrase have just one single meaning. If you have ever watched the movie, "The Prince and Me," you'll know what I am talking about. If you haven't there is a scene in the movie where the main character is class on William Shakespeare, and is experiencing difficulty understanding the meaning of sonnets that she has been assigned to read. In the movie, the words for Shakespeare's 148th sonnet, "The sun itself sees not until heaven clears," is a perfect example of how words and phrases rarely have a single meaning. In the movie, the main character states at the beginning of the scene that the meaning of this phrase is that you are unable to see the sun when the sky is cloudy. By the end of the scene, she comes to realize that the true meaning of this phrase it that love can blind you and rob you of all logical thinking and reasoning. We have all heard that "sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." This could not possibly be farther from the truth. Yes sticks and stone my break your bones, but words, words are what made the world. Words have the power to build a person up or to tear them down. Words are the tools of construction, and the methods of destruction. This is my main reason for why I love writing. A poem can take on so many different meanings because it can mean one thing for me, but something completely different for you. I don't know how often I will post my written work, but I will try to post something new at least twice a month. I will end on that note, and will proceed with posting a few poems that I have written in my next few posts, along with any information about the poem that might be relevant to it's meaning or why I wrote it. For now...
ENJOY!
Amanda
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