Shattered Soul (A Poem by Amanda Best)

At the time I wrote this poem, I was in a very dark place in my life. I wasn't happy and I felt alone. I hated myself and there were times when the darkness around me felt as if it was on the verge of consuming what little flickers of light I still had within me. I prayed for relief and for someone who could understand, but it would be several more years before I would receive an answer to my prayers. During the last two years I have changed from a person full of self-loathing, cynicism, self-hatred, and on the verge of self-destruction to a person who is learning to accept myself the way I am, while still trying to become something better and at the same time understanding I'm not always going to succeed the first time around. Anyways, I know there is hope simply because if I didn't have hope, I wouldn't have been able to be in a place where I would be ready to receive an answer to my prayers.

As Always,
Enjoy!

Amanda

A Shattered, Tortured Soul

I am the one who is lost and waiting to be found,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who has been ripped apart and torn to shreds,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who is hanging onto life by a thread,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who is desperately wanting to let go,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who has been despised by others,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who is haunted by the memories of the past,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who clings to the promise of a better future,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who sings about the sorrows no one should ever know,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who longs to hear the songs of joy,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who longs to forget the nightmares of my sleep,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who is consumed by the screams of hatred,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who is gasping for air in a world falling apart,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who sees no end to my pain,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who longs to feel of love,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.

I am the one who lives in my own personal hell,

I am a shattered, tortured soul.