Bullying Others Needs to End NOW!

The following is my essay that I just submitted today in my online English class. Despite the fact that I haven't gotten a grade yet, this is something that needed to be posted immediately since bullying is becoming an ever growing problem. I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a parent. I'm not a school counselor. But I am a Sunday School teacher for girls that are 10 and 11 years old at church, and I am a survivor of bullying But this isn't about me. This is about those who have seen suicide as the only way to end the constant bullying at school or wherever it is that they experience it. This is for them. This is for:

Kelly Yeomans, 13 years old, September 1997, Allenton, England

Dawn-Marie Wesley, 14 years old, November 2000, Mission, British Columbia

Nicola Ann Raphael, 15 years old, June 2001, Glasgow, Scotland

Ryan Halligan, 13 years old, October 2003, Essex Junction, Vermont

Megan Meier, 13 years old, October 2006, Darenne Prairie, Missouri

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, 11 years old, April 2009, Springfield, Massachusetts

Jaheem Herrara, 11 years old, April 2009, DeKalb County, Georgia

Phoebe Prince, 15 years old, January 2010, South Hadley, Massachusetts

Billy Lucas, 15 years old, September 2010, Greensburg, Indiana

Seth Walsh, 13 years old, September 2010, Tehachapi, California

Tyler Clementi, 18 years old, September 2010, New York City, New York

Brandon Bitner, 14 years old, November 2010, Mount Pleasant, Pennsylvania

Jamey Rodemeyer, 14 years old, September 2011, Buffalo, New York

Jamie Hubley, 15 years old, October 2011, Ottawa, Ontario

Jarrod Nickell, 18 years old, January 2012, Flushing, Michigan

Eden Wormer, 14 years old, March 2012, Vancouver, Washington

Kenneth Weishuhn, 14 years old, April 2012, Paullina, Iowa

Ciara Pugsley, 15 years old, September 2012, Carrick-on-Shannon, Ireland

Matthew Montagna, 16 years old, September 2012, Jenkins Township, Texas

Amanda Todd, 15 years old, October 2012, Port Coquitlam, British Columbia

Felicia Garcia, 15 years old, October 2012, Staten Island, New York

Erin Gallagher, 13 years old, October 2012, Ballybofey, Ireland

Josh Pacheco, 17 years old, November 2012, Fenton, Michigan

David Phan, 14 years old, November 2012, Taylorsville, Utah

Jessica Laney, 16 years old, December 2012, Pasco County, Florida

Jadin Bell, 15 years old, January 2013, La Grande, Oregon

Triston Stephens, 15 years old, February 2013, Coweta, Oklahoma

And all the other teens who have seen suicide as the only way to stop the tormenting.

To those who are thinking about committing suicide, DON'T DO IT! Please tell someone. I can't help you, but I can tell you that as a survivor of bullying, it will get better. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week, or next month, but IT WILL GET BETTER! Every storm has to run out of rain at some point! Speak out against bullying, stand up for others who are being bullied, and know that there are people in this world that love you and are rooting for you. Please know that I AM ROOTING FOR YOU!

Sincerely,

Amanda Best

Amanda Best

Professor Tara Bowen

English 106 - 13

2 March 2013

Bullying Others Needs to End NOW!

Bullying is not something new, but it is becoming a more severe and growing problem with the increase in teen suicides. Despite the passing of Phoebe’s Law, an anti-bullying law named for Phoebe Prince, its very existence and need for such a law is evidence that more is required if we are to stop the growing problem of bullying. As more and more teens see that the only escape from the taunting and tormenting of their peers is through suicide, parents, teachers, and mentors need to be more vigilant of behavioral changes in the children that they are responsible for protecting. Unless we do something more to combat this growing epidemic, bullying will continue to remain inadequately addressed due to casual or passive conversation.

            The overall problem is not just bullying. The mindsets that “boys will be boys,” “it’s just a phase,” or the need for the victim to “tough it out” have all led to a lack of understanding. The threat of physical harm to oneself or a family member from a bully can deter both victims and bystanders from reporting the bully. Victims might not mention any occurrences of bullying for other reasons as well, including not wanting to appear vulnerable and weak, or nothing changed and no one received a reprimand when they complained the first time. The best way to combat bullying is through a direct assault on two of a bully’s greatest weapons: fear and secrecy. To achieve maximum success, the execution of this direct assault requires precision and accuracy on three different fronts: the home front, the school front, and the front lines.

The first assault needs to occur at home. Parents can achieve great results when they take the time to have a weekly one-on-one conversation with their children. As children begin to see that they can talk openly with their parents, parents will find their children are more willing to discuss their problems when parents keep an open mind and remain objective. Having weekly family outings can also help to bolster a sense of family unity and confidence, thus creating an atmosphere of safety and love within the home. Parents also need to make and keep a list of anything that might seem different about their child’s behavior. No matter how small something might seem, nothing is insignificant. Parents should also strive to attend every parent-teacher conference by arranging in advance to take the day off from work. This way parents can discuss with their child anything addressed during the parent-teacher conference that might raise a “red flag.”

The second assault needs to take place at school. Just as parents need to keep a list of any behavioral changes at home, teachers, school administrators, and counselors need to pay close attention to any behavioral changes that occur while at school. Teachers should encourage parents to attend every parent-teacher conferences, regardless of the students’ grades. Brandon Bitner was a straight-A student, but he committed suicide in November 2010. Grades are not always indicative of the presence of bullying and as such have a limited use as an indicator of bullying. School administrators and counselors need to report any incidents of bullying to both teachers and parents and make a record of each incident. Schools should also have a box in the office where students can anonymously report incidents of bullying. Teachers, school administrators, and counselors should all strive to help students feel that they are safe to discuss bullying and other problems with them.

The last and final assault is the one fought on the front lines. Children who are able to openly discuss their problems with not only their parents and teachers, but also with school administrators and counselors, will feel more willing to openly discuss the problem of bullying. Despite all the possible ways to confront and combat bullying, perhaps the most successful ways to prevent bullying might come from children. Children see more than we realize and therefore have a head start on thinking and creating ways to put a stop to this growing problem. Parents cannot stand by their child’s side every waking moment, ready to quash even the slightest dirty look from another person. However, parents can instill confidence in their children that speaking out against bullying may not always be easy, but it is always right thing to do.

When a child feels safe enough that they can openly talk to the adults in their lives about their problems, they are able to destroy one of the greatest weapons of a bully. They are able to destroy the weapon of fear. When a child can openly talk to adults about the problems others are facing, they are again destroying that fear. When a child’s problems and the problems of others come to the attention of the adults in their lives, it results in the destruction of the second greatest weapon a bully possesses. It results in the destruction of the weapon of secrecy. When one child confidently speaks out against bullying, it will act as the catalyst for which countless others will eventually follow. Still others will only follow if we as parents, teachers, school administrators, and counselors can provide the atmosphere of safety for them to have the confidence to speak out.